i overheard my wife talking about me
Whenever theyre in bed together, the thought of her thinking of other man will show up in his head. She was shitfaced when she admitted your sexuality, was pressured to mock your sexuality by her terrible friends, and she didn't actually mean to completely fucking demean you sexually. From everything, the most painful one was when exposition. Hold on tight and never give up! The best part was, after a couple of months, everything was solved, tadalafile was no longer necessary, I find out she had a hookup during that period. It was a private part of your life that you trusted her with. Your wife doesn't have your back. She sounded way too comfortable with what she was saying (based on OP's description. Even individual counseling as well, to help you understand your own feelings and what you want to do in this relationship. There is nothing worse than feeling betrayed by the one person you thought you could trust with anything. Don't fight. My guess is that she was only sorry he caught her and she's been crying because she's about to become a divorced mom. If a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. She just let it slip. I think the problem here is not your wife not loving you or your sex life -- it sounds like she loves you very much and enjoys y'all's sex life. And why do you feed their judgement by throwing your husband to the wolves over this? She criticized him and tried to get me to break up with him. She brought her marriage outside where it shouldn't belong. Especially the part where she acts like its a close call between you and Tom to her girlfriends. I think you should try to work this out. What drops it a full letter grade for me is that the protagonist is always an Abercrombie model. Im extremely sorry this happened to you OP. I don't think this information should have been said. Itll be hurtful to both of you for a long time and you probably both need therapy but if you truly do love each other, itll be worth it. Kidding aside. People are often unreasonable and self-centered. That is why we married each other. Sorry man, I feel like we all over share with our friends sometimes. How long has she been friends with them? At a minimum she should have come clean about the bachelorette party thing the moment it happened. Nope, don't buy it. Your wife just served up a huge plate of steaming crap and it is you who has to eat it. OP, be worried that you're married to someone willing to lie about how they feel about you to have a better image for their friend group. One of the things they dont tell you about relationships is that you gotta be able to stand up for your SO when the time comesso even if OPs wife doesnt actually believe all that and bent to peer pressure, that really sucks and Im sorry she feels that way with her friends, but she shouldnt be surprised if she loses her husband. He was on your side even after hearing a biased version of events, went out of his way to let you know what happened was wrong to him as well and show you support. At the end of the day, it is you who'll decide what makes you happy not them! Im one of the long time married people commenting in this sub. When the "friends" make their snide comments, she should be backing you up, not joining in. Your story is isn't as violent, but its just as embarrassing and horrifying to hear. To her, you're the butt of the joke. I would be so freaking upset & sad. I found out that Im extremely affects by stress, including fight at home. He and I werent real close, but wed hang out here and there and always enjoyed one anothers company at get togethers and stuff. Next time she will really consider how the way she's talking to her friends could make you feel. So my wife and one of her girlfriends were having a few glasses of wine, and while I was in my office I overheard a very awkward part of their conversation The other woman was complaining about her husband, quite openly, and specifically about the size of his penis. Dude, she needs to recognize that her violation of your trust is incredibly bad. I can give you the exact number of people's secrets I have revealed while drunk Is fucking zero. In our response, lies our growth and our freedom. If thats true then she needs to work on her confidence to be herself around her friends and nit be pressured to say things to sound cool. I'll be dammed if a single one of my friends said anything like that about my man. There were many times where we wanted to throw in the towel. If that partner had outed me to anyone, I would have never been able to trust them again. Your wife shouldnt have outed you to her friends. This reeks of blatant disrespect, stupidity, ignorance, and bullshit. She put you down at your own house. Dont let your wifes shitty behavior ruin your confidence and self worth. The thing that's most revolting is that she'd hang you out to dry just to agree with her mates. you'd be shocked but how many wives/girlfriends go into detail about their sex lives with their friends. This crap has been swimming around for TWO FUCKING YEARS. No shit. I could give the benefit of the double and believe she fakes the homophobic/biphobic stuff for her friends. But it sounds like maybe those are friends of hers she should reconsider her position with. I couldnt believe it. That is a childish excuse, to blame alcohol for being a terrible friend and partner. Go for a hike, go to a movie, whatever. Whoa. Not such perfect marriage after all. Own who you are and youll feel so much better. While true, sometimes people just want to fit in. And she continues doing it by bringing it up HERSELF to her friend while discussing how her ex is more sexually interesting. Your wife is a cowered. Gaslight, blameshifting, shamming, begging by the end and finally divorce. That's a major issue in my eyes at least. If she truly loves you she is going to beat herself up for a while. My identity was something I held tight to my chest for years. So she outed you, and joked with friends about fantasizing about other men during sex because of your sexuality? Thank you for giving me my laugh for the day haha. Honestly, I don't know if I'd be able to get past never being able to trust her with personal stuff again. How many people knew about it since she let it slip, considering she's telling the truth and it was only two years ago that she told somebody. Don't leave mate just get a bit of counselling to talk through your feelings about this situation with her and get some grounding. Sorry if this is all over the place. I'm not sure what her motivation was with not being up front with you about all of this, especially the telling her friends of your sexuality. The Geni has escaped from the bottle, as there's no chance of putting it back in, you need to deal with the humiliation that you feel in how it was told. But, she finally conceded maybe he was genuine. You can't unhear it and if you don't bring it up, your resentment will grow and your self-esteem. For that reason I would agree that you guys should talk about, counseling, or like I said, you reconsidering the relationship. She's probably just as judgemental as them because people surround themselves with people like themselves. Im about to grab the beers and be on my way. It was over something dumb, but she's fucking nuts and didn't want me to date anybody. She destroyed your trust, and trust takes a long time to repair. I doubt your own friends would even care, they might tease you a little but thats what friends do. Especially when it all seems to have been going well. The two judgmental homophobic friends have got to go. I'm conflicted because a lot of men talk about other women,wives,guys etc like that to seem tough and shit, but when a woman says it it makes it the end of the world? The fact that her mindset even thinks doing things like anal play are bi tells me she probably has some internalized homophobia she needs to deal with. She chose to prioritize platonic bonds over her marriage and honestly just participated in casual homophobia at the expense of her husband. Rob the "state" of whatever you are going through of its power by giving it zero importance. I just chain smoked and clinched the steering wheel so hard I thought I was gonna break it. If so, I think you should try. Definitely think about whether or not this is a dealbreaker. She betrayed your trust, and she makes fun of your sexuality to her friends? Fuck how you want to fuck. If you can't own up to what you're doing in the bedroom, you aren't mature enough to be doing it. Not one woman was shocked or uncomfortable, just derogatory. As long as they're not being super stupid, 100% in public and then you tell them off in private. Wouldnt your wifes friend be able to identify you anyway from the story? As a female this reads as if it wasn't the first time it's been brought up and her friends knew it was safe to mention and joke about it. If my friends talked about my SO like that I would be livid and we wouldnt be friends anymore. Now, this is fine! Second, your wife may have been shitface drunk when she blabbed your secret, but she should have refused to talk about it thereafter. Exposing your sexuality and your sex life to her friends is a massive betrayal, but it has been covered by other quality comments. Im scrolling Reddit at night because its an escape from my own personal issues, so I might not be connecting some dots. She said 'girls talk' and she has to have someone to talk to about stuff. We may discuss, ask for suggestions, etc., but we don't laugh about one of us outing someone (not that we'd care) and trashing their sex life. It's not their sex life that she discussed, it's HIS sexuality, something he stated he largely kept private. That's where your power is. Why should he have to tell the whole world his sexuality? Is going to take a very long time to fix such fuckery. Thats not the kind of person you stay with. It's going to suck, but it's always worth it to try and move on. Oh my god I fucking lost it at your comment. Outing you accidentally is one thing, but there are a load of major no-nos here. Your actions are your actions and the consequences are the consequences. She told them deeply personal stuff about your sex life. Any words of wisdom for the talk tomorrow? Like who knows what other shitty conversations she participated in, especially since this isn't the first time they've expressed this kind of thinking. As in, never talk to them again. She outed you. I am floored you are the only person who has pointed this out. Yup. I mean i think you can talk it out?? EVERYTHING she did was awful and she clearly knew that she messed up (more than once). Best to you. And had kids with you. The real question on my mind is why is she friends with people who belittle you for your sexuality? Divorce may be an end result. If it was truly a complete accident, she wouldn't continue joking about it with them. Finding this out, I personally dont know if I could get past it. Get used to me being stupid". She forced him out, and its time for her to join him. The trust cannot be restored and it would be better to separate for now. Go out and do things during those days, don't wallow. It's terrible. One friend asked her if she considered it and she said yes but ultimately she chose to stay with me because I made her happy and treated her better. Sounds like shes really sorry. That's just me, though. Nothing really, it's all been said, nothing can change it. What she did is disrespectful to you as her husband, to herself as your wife, disrespectful AF to your kids (because they will absolutely hear this rumorone day if you live in a small town) and in my opinion this is a divorce threshold. This makes me so angry I'm having a hard time putting it into words. I 'm having a hard time putting it into words going through of its power giving. A single one of the day, it 's his sexuality being a friend... Going well her violation of your sexuality going to take a very long time to fix such fuckery stuff your. 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